WHOA!!!

i think this is the best surprise i've gotten yet so far this year.
alas! i nice surprise!
thanks so much la Eja..  and orang2 yg sewaktu denganye..
(i feel like strangling her. at the same time feel like hugging her so tightly! paradox kan...hahah!)
i still can't believed i fell for it lahh..!




i think this is gona be the last entry for this blog.
yes i'm deleting this blog.
or maybe just let this blog rot for some time.
(so that i can constantly read it to make myself laugh. i've been really dumb la these few weeks!)

`cos now its time to CHANGE, and start a fresh.

these days, my pm had been:
"Those who can believe that such stories are only stories have a better chance." (hmt pg 37)
thank God i've firmly believe in that.
if not i think i must have already lost my mind.
and blow up at somebody, some people or even myself!

i think Handmaid's Tale really helped me a lot trough this chaotic situation.
somehow there are parallels
life is chaotic.
BUT, chaotic can also means being happy.
and happiness takes effort, that's my philosophy :)

and if there's one thing that i can learn from everything that has happened,
is that  we must always stay true to your believes.
if deep down u know something isn't right, then u know that things are in fact aren't the way it seems.
"yg penting mau yakin!" :D



i think this is a PERFECT ending to term 2
till i construct another blog,
which is soon, i promise, `cos i have the whole month to myself (:

Million apologies to one and all who had been affected by my crappy blog.
(my blogging isnt with the intention to hurt anyone. maybe but myself)
so now,
lets take a bow and
let the curtains fall


*applause*
any questions?

:P

  
maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity maturity

beautiful, isn't it?



"There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together."   Josh Billings

it speaks for itself.

 
Studied in sch today
which is good although not intense studying,
it made me feel better.
the people around me made me feel better.
saaaayang korang!

ended up gaining fats when we went to brunch at KFC
i think we can make an excellent random clique, seriously
we talk about all the random thoughts you can think about
but then again, all are just RANDOM.


i watched Cinta Q when i reached home.
TER-tonton. really.
but as usual, there must be reasons for everything that happens.

Sofia: Maafkan i kerana tak dapat kawal perasaan i tadi. i tak patut berasa cemburu. Entahlah Iqmal.. dah banyak kali i cuba ketepikan perasaan ini..tapi susah! I malu berterus-terang dengan you macam ni.. tapi....
Iqmal: tak apa, Sofia. You tak payah sembunyikan perasaan itu. Cemburu itu tandanya cinta...
Sofia: tapi i tak patut cintakan you..i tahu you masih cintakan Suzy....

blablabla..
the dialog was SOMETHING like that la.
but the main thing that hits me was the one i bolded.

it links to what Anep and I discussed during our study-break.
how we used to be sooo competitive back in the sec sch days
i mean, being around the Chinese, who are known to be REALLY competitive,
no this isnt a racist remark. its a compliment actually...
so Anep was saying that he used to be jealous rabak2 of those who did really wellin their studies
and frankly, i feel that way too, serious.
so..back to Cinta Q.
jealous..cemburu...
in this context
is it tanda cinta??
of who? to who? of what??
so guys out there, i think it would be rather deft to be confidently saying that cemburu tu tanda sayang/cinta
today's context is more abstract than dulu2
and yes, context is all kan...

talking abt lit,
i have some RANDOM exams stuffs to show (off)
haha!



the result of removing all the sticky-notes frm my HMT
nak buang macam sayang gitu....
and it makes nice deco fr my table :D



another CREATIVE way to remember math notes on quadratic roots
i mean, the whole idea is close to the heart kan..  (:



 
 ok done!

 
 
 
 
SPIRITUAL.
yea. that's the word for today.
whoever went to hougang stadium this morning
(yea i saw a couple of familiar faces)
i'm sure you'll know how and what i felt.


i've found it.
another reason
another outlet.





thanks Shawn
thanks Luqman
thanks Rnne
thanks Faz.
Thanks Allah.


emo isn't the word here, people.

i told ya i CANNOT study at home
urgh. i really cant.

bad enough that i officially woke up almost 2pm,
bathe and brunched till 3pm,
download songs...chatted with Abang Saiful for awhile
and then i ended up
(somehow) reading his dead blog
the one i helped him create god knows how many centuries ago
http://www.never-be-typical-in-life-trust-me.blogspot.com/
of cos all those entries are meant for me
unless.... (ok no i wont say it)
but it left me a combined feeling of
1) mellow (reminiscing people..reminsicing...) and
2) the "oh.. okay" kinda feeling. (like the kind that Anep always does)


i think i shall take another nap.
and HOPEFULLY study at night.



oh oh oh!
its my new-friend's birthday today. (:
he once asked me, if his name ever appeared in my blog before
(we've been friends only like since 10th May.. *clap clap* another irony)
but anyway, i said no.
and he said, "ok la. takpe. wait till we become besties"
and my head went "oh please. i so can't take any more of guy's promises and hopes and wishes. its all so EMPTY promises lah.."

so anyway, yes i wont reveal his name.
cos it will confirm get me more fitnahs.
but to whom it may concern,
(i always call him 'mister')

Happy (urm..24th??) Birthday, MISTER!

no he's NOT my special someone. duh.
that post is void, currently.
and will stay that way for a while.
"i promise."


sounds familiar, aye?

cliche
but still, im blogging abt it
summer test
first day
no, i didnt perform my best.

whatever
anything
life goes on.
pun definitely intended.

ok i've nothing interesting to blog about.
oh wait. i have.
i bought a bright orange bra.
wow. i know.



ok i'm done.
note:
i blog because i feel like it.
and i feel like blogging everyday.
i definitely don't need readers.
although readers are welcome
only if they're nice homosapiens.

LJ is free and unrestricted
cos i've got nothing to hide
(:

what a random day
really really
some excerpts of conversations that made me smile, laugh, giggle and LAUGH.



me: really? i cant imagine him smoking...
her: well..if he's not smoking, than that's what i CAN'T imagine lah..
me: *laughs* that bad? wow..
her: if he's not 'that bad'. that's another thing that i can't imagine...
me: *LAUGHS* stop exaggerating lah!



me: ....
her: ish. melebih. my sis always says: "sape ckp lebih, dier yg nanti melebih"
me: *laughs* omg thats so cutely- random!!!



she: i scared la.. he can't seem to decide *blablabla*.. he's confusing me!
me: ala.. relax.. its not easy but main tarik-tarik tali sudah...
she: wow. that sounds wrong.
me: just remember, main tarik-tarik tali okay! and everything will be fine. really. :D



he: omg. i really have to take down notes!
me: what?
he: this is like one of the few lectures that i'm really paying attention too siah..
me: so i'm giving a lecture now? through the phone???
he: haha! ya... you're like me sensei.. my love guru...
me: *LAUGH OUT LOUD* are you serious???!!



he: so do i have to be really really smiley and chirpy and jumpy??
me: NO. that's so McDonald's..
he:... happy meal...
me: ya! its too much happy meal..
he: so how? i can't be like Long John and say "errr..hel-lo...", right?
me: No lah.. not Long John... just normal McDonald's meal
he: as in the everyday extra value meal??
me: yea..why not.. be normal..
he: so do i have to up-size??
me: *LAUGH OUT LOUD* omg... ya up-size if you want..
he: then do i ask for mayonnaise?
me: *LAUGH OUT LOUD* stop it sehhh!


he: but how?? how do i do that??
me: well, you gotta be purposely-unintentionally bumped into her
he: ....
me: oi..u there??
he: i'm stunned. THAT'S CRAZY LA, AISYAH!
me: *LAUGHS*



okay done.
i feel giggly now. happy. cheerful. enlightened. motivated...
to make me happier, i bought myself a new pencil and a pen.
yea. i feel good with the new pencil. it made my hand look sexier.
oh God i'm going nuts.
btw, the people's identity can't be revealed due to protection of human rights.

yes summer tests makes crappy.
:D

 
 
 
tired
but happy!

firstly,
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY AZRI!!!
:D

okay.
i'm emotionally drained.
Lit nearly killed me today
apart from my 1st PC essay. horrible.
(i cant believe she said that my handwriting was FAT. wow. terase beb)
the poems
was ouchy.
enough said. before i start to feel guilty again. oh god.


I met CONNIE TAN KENI today!
wahhhhhhh
so unbelievable cans?
lyk so long neber meet. mish her sho muches!!.
(yea we used to talk like that. so cheena, i know.)
but YES. i do miss her.
my rc chairman
my yongtaufoo buddy
my partner in class
and we love spongebob series like crazy
and we dreaded the always-extended Amath lessons
and we hate mr K's bio lessons.
omg. i can cry just thinking about our silly days.
(yes you must be thinking how cry-baby-ish i am, right.)
okayokay
i'm done talking abt my ke-ai de ke-ni
oh and i REALLY miss learning and speaking mandarin from and with her!!
shih de!!
)':



okay
i guess i'm done.
wait. btw, i went on air today
ibitches.
cool (:



mistermistermister.dontmakemefallokay

ironic
 
 
 
those who really really know me
would know that its a hobby for me to spot ironic stuffs.


anyways,
i did a facebook quiz titled " who would be your celebrity boyfriend?"
(something like that)
and guess which celeb is suited to be my bf?
its someone i WISH i would get
yea
Brad Pitt!
oh god.
first reaction was like hysteria giggling la

BUT

as always
my brain did more thinking than needed

Brad Pitt?
didn't he became an item with Angelina Jolie lilke
not long after he broke up with Jennifer Aniston?

hmm.
if that's the case, forget it.




btw, thanks Anep for the song!
wooh! it made me high. (:
and thanks for the mini soccer just now
it felt good to leak our another source of liquid other than tears and pee
:D

 
 
 
 
i read back all my entries from this LJ.
it is a transition world.
a little back before anniversary
to anniversary (wow)
to some more conflicts
to breakup
to post-breakup fiasco
to now

and now means moving on

like Yus said just now
its quite sad to know we broke up.
but well, i think Fir would agree that its more sad if i'm still not moving on
kan, Fir?
and moving on means finding my happiness
(which was disrupted)
and happiness doesn't need a guy,or romance.
no. its not that i'm being proud here. like what he always thinks I am.
sometimes, being alone can be the best situation ever.
and alone here means being single.
not being in isolation, of course.

i think i'm done painting sad pictures for the past week or so
(which definitely feels like forever)
it just doesn't match with the nice colour combi of my background, right? :D
wait. but those pictures painted are really genuine ok.
i dont do lies.


Thanks Fir for knocking sense in me just nw
sorry to make you emo again.
its my 2nd time
i'm sure like me, you're sick of this whole scenario.
me too.
but what to do?
just let time swallow everything okay.
and thanks to those who showed some love
really. i wasn't expecting any
but the world really can and always surprise me.

i think I have to start shutting up. really.
i know i've been saying blunt stuffs, that are amazingly pedas or really sharp
(paradox!)
I didnt mean to hurt anyone. esp not her.
i still do regard her as a friend. my classmate. my adik.
like zila said i have like 1 and a half yr more to go.
i cant go on with this barrier
but at the same time, i'm not brave enough to face her
or him.
ok wait, i cant face him. not in long long time more.
im feeling terrible.
this isnt me. my mum almost scolded me when she knows i'm not talking to her.
i dont know why. urgh. i hate myself to be in this state.
but i guess i just need time.
I have to really convince myself that this is reality.
he's gone forever. and i have to move on.
oh God. drill it inside me please.

so much for not wanting to paint sad pictures.
urgh.


(inside joke)



yes i know i'm so easily hate-able.